Monthly Archives: January 2012
Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone, but I’m working on a new book. It’s called :
Drama with Mama
15 Inner Powers You Should Use to Find Your Peace and Skip Your Next Drama.
This book is a relatively short self-help book that is based on my relationships with my mom.
It’s an important lesson for anyone who has some drama in any of his current relationships.
For your eyes only, the Introduction chapter:
Is there a loved one in your life that you experience big difficulties with?
Maybe it’s your mom, your dad, your kid, or your spouse.
It doesn’t really matter who he or she is, if you have drama with a loved one, you could probably use some more inner peace. In this book I’m going to help you to tone down the drama and achieve a consistent inner peace.
My mom just hung up the phone on me, I thought. Again. My heart felt hollow and the memory of her weeping haunted me. It was a cloudy fall afternoon, about five years ago and we had just finished another fight over the phone. It seemed like we had more and more fights like that one, that autumn. Too many phone calls ended with tears. It felt like there was an angry giant sleeping in me. And she knew exactly how to wake him up. Then I’d shout and she’d cry. She wasn’t the only person that caused me to lose my temper, but she was for sure the most successful provocateur.
That fight was the biggest ever. I don’t even remember how it started, but it was big. It felt like we might never talk again, at least not in the near future. I was devastated. I love my mom. I didn’t want to fight her. I’d try to calm myself before calls with her, but with not much success. I can’t find the words to express how frustrating it was. I felt out of control, possessed by a dangerous inner monster.
Why do we hurt the people who we love the most? What can I do to stop it? I asked myself. At that time I had already had years of self-growth experience. I read books, took workshops and courses and I was definitely an improved version of my previous self. But there was one thing I couldn’t change. The volcano of anger in me, that blew off from time to time.
This volcano made me verbally attack my own mom. Say things I wish I’d never said. When the lava of anger started to climb up my chest it felt like driving a car downhill with no breaks. How can you have good relationships with people around you, when you can’t control your own anger?
On that afternoon I decided that something needed to change, and fast. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt that I was my worst enemy. It felt so helpless. How do I fight the enemy within? Can I beat it? Is there a better way than fighting it? I was very angry with myself.
I closed my eyes and desperately looked for a solution. When I opened my eyes, still with no solution, I saw the picture on the wall in front of me. It was a picture of a peaceful, sunny beach with palm trees and small huts. That’s when I knew what I had to do. I had to find a way to create inner peace; a peace that won’t be affected by other people and events. I knew I have the power in me to do that, and I was determined to uncover and then find out how to use this power.
Later on that evening I practiced the power of compassion. I talk about this power in one of the next chapters. It made me feel better. But I wasn’t looking to feel better. I was looking for a stable, persistent inner peace.
I decided to make a list of all the inner powers I have to create and maintain my inner peace. The idea was that if I have a list like this and I use it, then inner peace is guaranteed to stay with me.
A few years later, after working with my inner powers list, I’ve just finished another phone call with my mom. No, she didn’t hang up on me this time. I actually can’t remember when we last had a fight. She just got back good results from a medical test she took, and I was the first person she called, very excited to share the good news with me. We’re now best friends, and the only tears I cause her, are tears of happiness when I come to visit.
Creating peace with my mom is one of my biggest achievements on my path of spiritual growth. It’s funny how hard it is to have peace with the ones we love. Maybe it’s because we care about them so much. It felt like making a peace with myself, with my inner angry giant monster who terrorized my life.
I sometimes see people in the middle of a fight with a loved one and it reminds me how out of control I felt before I started to work with my inner power resources.
This personal peace list is one of the most powerful gifts in my life and I want to share it with you.
The first power is coming soon! Follow the blog get a notification. Don’t miss it!