12 Uncommon Tips for Experiencing Joy and Inner Peace

Inner Peace


1. Resistance is futile
You have experienced some bad times during your life. You might have even experienced catastrophes. How does the future look? You’re going to be sick from time to time, get older, lose friends and face changes whether you accept it or not. Accepting will just make you a happier person. Resisting is what makes you suffer.
Imagine wanting to buy something new. You know you can’t afford it. Imagine the difference in your feeling if you tell yourself: “Damn, I wish I could afford it,” or if you tell yourself: “As soon as my money situation gets better, I’ll get it.”  Can you see the difference between accepting and resisting? In both cases you didn’t give up wanting it, but in which case do you feel better?
Start by accepting that you are not at peace, at least not all the time. Accept that it’s okay to be this way. In doing so, you’re already one step closer to be at peace.
Accept yourself the way you are, even if you don’t like it. It’s easier to improve your life when you accept what comes your way.

2. Believe and set an intention
You can’t be at peace if you don’t believe it’s possible. “You know us New-Yorkers, we’re always running somewhere,”  “How can you be at peace when you are in debt?” If you tell yourself something like this, then you can’t be at peace. Believe that it’s possible, and then set your intention to be at peace. Tell yourself: “All the reasons not to be at peace are out there in the world. But inside, I’ll d deliberately experience peace.” If need be, remind yourself your intention every day. Put stickers on your fridge and laptop. Your capability to be at peace will grow.

3. Please forgive me!
Forgiveness is not a prize for someone else; it’s a gift to your soul.  “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” (Alexander Pope).
Ask for forgiveness from anyone you hurt. Even if you don’t think that you hurt them, it’s enough that they feel hurt. Ask forgiveness from everyone you didn’t love enough. Ask forgiveness from whoever you disappointed. Ask forgiveness from all who suffered and you didn’t care, even if you don’t know them.
Forgive yourself. One of the people who you hurt the most is yourself. You’ve made mistakes. But if you want to be at peace, it’s time to forgive yourself.
Forgive anyone who hurt you. Forgiveness is not a prize. You might not end up their best friend, but don’t continue to punish yourself for what they did by not forgiving them.

4. Do something you dislike everyday
There are so many things I don’t like to do.  I don’t like to pay bills and I don’t like to call the bank. I tend to postpone those things as much as I can. But I keep thinking: “Damn, I need to do this.” So what can I do?
Every day, do one thing you don’t like, preferably in the morning. You will feel so much fixed attention released, that you will be at peace for at least a few hours.

5. Take good care of yourself.
Practice yoga, go to the gym, jump, breathe deeply, walk and take the stairs instead of the elevator. Eat well, sleep well, and laugh as much as you can. Happy body makes happy spirit.

6. Expect only disappointments
When you expect things from others, you set yourself up for disappointment. Do you expect a tree to bark like a dog? Do expect a monkey to fly? So why do expect people to be different than the way they are? If someone doesn’t appreciate you, it’s because this is the way he is. Don’t expect him to change. He might change, but he probably won’t change. Don’t set up yourself for disappointment. Choose to be around those who support you, those who surprise you with their generosity. You don’t need to expect anything from them.

7. Meet more teachers and fewer enemies
Enemies are teachers whose class you’ve failed. They came into your life to teach you a lesson and instead of thanking them, you have decided to resist them. Any time you meet an enemy, ask yourself: what lesson he’s bringing me? It can be at work, on the bus or at home. There are many lessons to learn.
Failure is a teacher too. It’s not a failure if you use it as a lesson. It’s easier to be at peace when you’re learning and growing.

8. Feel more than you think
Many of your thoughts are either created by hidden feelings or are there to hide unwanted feelings.
When you think that you’re not good enough it’s because you’re afraid to fail.
When you are not sure what to do it’s because you’re afraid to make a mistake.
When you think someone did you wrong, it’s because you are angry.
Listen to your feelings, don’t try to avoid them. Let them be, so you can let them go.
Create new feelings. Deliberately feel safe, feel love, feel joy, feel serenity, feel one with the universe. Feel divine.

9. Are you lying?
Don’t lie. You then need to spend too much energy on covering your lies. If you are lucky, you might even feel guilty for lying. Lying will never support you in finding peace.
Many times the person we lie to the most, is oneself. Be honest with yourself. Don’t do anything that makes you feel bad. Even if it feels good now, you know what will make you feel bad later. Keeping your integrity will get you closer to peace.

10. Feel compassion
What is compassion? Compassion is the ability to see the world from someone else’s eyes. Compassion is remembering that we all want the same things in life: we want feel safe, to feel loved, to feel joy, have peace and a sense of purpose. What differentiates us is that we each have varying ideas on what’s the most effective way to achieve these things. Therefore, each one of us chooses the viewpoint that seems most appropriate to him, or the one he has been told is best suited to this purpose. That’s why we handle matters in such different ways. In addition, we’ve also experienced suffering, disappointment, grief, sorrow and failure on our life’s journeys. We’re all taking this journey; and sometimes while we’re trying to avoid being the prey, we unintentionally become the predator.
When you remember this, you understand that sometimes good people made bad choices just because they were afraid or weren’t thinking about their choices deep enough.
Compassion is to see that we are all connected. That we were all created by the same God.

11. Feel gratitude
If you don’t feel grateful for the little things then you keep running after the big things. It’s both exhausting and creates a sense of emptiness: I want this, but I don’t have it. It’s frustrating. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for what you are going to have. Don’t think about what you don’t have or could have.

12. Care!
Help others with no expectations of anything in return. It will make you feel good and will help you to have your attention not only on yourself. Caring and selfish-less service to others are great ways to find your peace. How can you help others? It can be as small as giving some guides, smiling, supporting, giving a compliment, listening, encouraging, loving, advising, or just making them laugh. You can always do more like giving donations or volunteer.

A peaceful heart gives birth to love.
When love meets suffering it turns to compassion.
When love meets happiness it turns to joy. (The Wise Heart)
Do you want to learn more about how to achieve inner peace? Come visit my website: http://www. oneleggedseagull.com


About joeyavniel

Author of the book "One-Legged Seagull, A Warrior's Journey to Inner Peace" - A fable that will transform your life to be at peace.

Posted on October 22, 2011, in inner peace. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Though I appreciate the overall concept of your article I began to have issues with your last 6 points: expectations and feelings. Though I agree that people can disapoint perhaps it is because expectations are to high.
    Feelings are too flexible to depend on. What makes a person happy one day may not have the same results the next day particularly if the variables change. Therefore the key word is “be”: Be caring, Be confident; Be sincere; Be friendly; Be supportive. Also, it is important to not focus so much on self. Self-centeredness is a relationship destroyer and will lead to disapointments.
    Finally, we do not always have the ability to avoid enemies. Wisdom allows us to learn from our enemies as well as teachers. Respectfully, M L Floyd

  2. #9. Are you lying? I feel this is important. When I tell someone “your MS will be back to you by _____ date” it’s back to that person on that date or before that date. And don’t make excuses. They only make you look like a whiner or someone who cannot be depended on. #12 Care – about others. This is a big one. I’d sooner help another blogger revise her post than make a timed post of my own.

  3. M L Floyd , thanks so much for your comment. It can help me to clarify some of my thoughts.
    One of my next articles going to be called: “Would you expect an elephant to fly?” The problem is most of the time not with expectations that are too high, but with the expectations from someone to be something (s)he is not. For example if you are a person who likes to always focus on new goals, it can be disappointing to expect you to relax and enjoy the moment. I’m not saying you can’t learn how to do it, but if I just expect you to know how to do it, I set you up to disappoint me.
    Feeling is an interesting issue. You can feel happy right now with no reason. Just close your eyes, think about a good memory you have and feel happy. It will work. You don’t need anything new to happen in order to be happy. What you are talking about is an external event and the meaning you give it. Yes, it can change. But this is thinking (giving a meaning) and not feeling. To feel good you don’t need any external event to happen. A few years ago I realized it’s going to rain whether I like it or not. So I decided to enjoy the rain. Since then, I’m happy every time it rains. I didn’t expect the rain to make me happy, I decided it’s going to.
    I agree with you that being is the key to be happy. It’s a great point.
    My favorite point in your comment was about the enemies. I waited a few days to think about my answer. I believe that one of our worst enemies is our own anger. It attacks us over and over again and we sometimes feel like we need to fight it in order to stay calm. But our anger can be a teacher too. We can learn from it what trigger us, what we resist and what’s wrong for us. Our enemies in the outside world are people who are fighting their own enemy, their own anger. They lose this fight and that’s what makes them your teachers or your own enemies. I’ll write more about it soon in another article.
    Thanks again and peace,

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