While working on my new book “Drama with Mama – 11 Inner Powers to Transform Your Relationship With Your Mom” (coming soon!) I decided to write down the 18 lessons I learned from my mom.
Warning! If you don’t have a sense of humor–or you’re my mom (hi Mom! how is everything?), you must leave this post now! I’m not kidding… or wait, maybe I am… definitely maybe/sort of, who knows.
If you’re reading this, I assume you do have a sense of humor, so please enjoy.
|Lesson Learned||My mom’s words|
|There are some things I can’t understand||“Can you open them now, and see if they’re crushable, but if they’re not, don’t open them.”|
|Always appreciate fine work well done||“If you’re going kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning the house!”|
|The power of a prayer||“You better pray that this stain will come out of the carpet.”|
|The importance of good reasons||“If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you a reason to cry.”|
|The logic of ad hoc and non sequitur arguments||“Because I said so, that’s why.”|
|Cause and affect||“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the shops with me.”|
|The need of foresight||“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”|
|How to avoid failures||“If you don’t try, you can’t fail”|
|Thinking out of the box||“Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!”|
|The need to have a flexible body||“Will you “look” at the dirt on the back of your neck!”|
|Why I’m lonely||“Going out? Who goes out on a Thursday night?”|
|How to find role models||“Stop acting like your father!”|
|The future is predictable||“I think one of those guys is going to win.”|
|How to stop world hunger||“Finish your food, there are hungry people in the world.”|
|How to find the good in the bad||“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”|
|How to enjoy the present||“Just wait until your father gets home.”|
|How to stay young forever||“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”|
|Why being single is a good choice
||“One day you’ll have kids …and I hope they turn out just like you!”|
Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone, but I’m working on a new book. It’s called :
Drama with Mama
15 Inner Powers You Should Use to Find Your Peace and Skip Your Next Drama.
This book is a relatively short self-help book that is based on my relationships with my mom.
It’s an important lesson for anyone who has some drama in any of his current relationships.
For your eyes only, the Introduction chapter:
Is there a loved one in your life that you experience big difficulties with?
Maybe it’s your mom, your dad, your kid, or your spouse.
It doesn’t really matter who he or she is, if you have drama with a loved one, you could probably use some more inner peace. In this book I’m going to help you to tone down the drama and achieve a consistent inner peace.
My mom just hung up the phone on me, I thought. Again. My heart felt hollow and the memory of her weeping haunted me. It was a cloudy fall afternoon, about five years ago and we had just finished another fight over the phone. It seemed like we had more and more fights like that one, that autumn. Too many phone calls ended with tears. It felt like there was an angry giant sleeping in me. And she knew exactly how to wake him up. Then I’d shout and she’d cry. She wasn’t the only person that caused me to lose my temper, but she was for sure the most successful provocateur.
That fight was the biggest ever. I don’t even remember how it started, but it was big. It felt like we might never talk again, at least not in the near future. I was devastated. I love my mom. I didn’t want to fight her. I’d try to calm myself before calls with her, but with not much success. I can’t find the words to express how frustrating it was. I felt out of control, possessed by a dangerous inner monster.
Why do we hurt the people who we love the most? What can I do to stop it? I asked myself. At that time I had already had years of self-growth experience. I read books, took workshops and courses and I was definitely an improved version of my previous self. But there was one thing I couldn’t change. The volcano of anger in me, that blew off from time to time.
This volcano made me verbally attack my own mom. Say things I wish I’d never said. When the lava of anger started to climb up my chest it felt like driving a car downhill with no breaks. How can you have good relationships with people around you, when you can’t control your own anger?
On that afternoon I decided that something needed to change, and fast. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt that I was my worst enemy. It felt so helpless. How do I fight the enemy within? Can I beat it? Is there a better way than fighting it? I was very angry with myself.
I closed my eyes and desperately looked for a solution. When I opened my eyes, still with no solution, I saw the picture on the wall in front of me. It was a picture of a peaceful, sunny beach with palm trees and small huts. That’s when I knew what I had to do. I had to find a way to create inner peace; a peace that won’t be affected by other people and events. I knew I have the power in me to do that, and I was determined to uncover and then find out how to use this power.
Later on that evening I practiced the power of compassion. I talk about this power in one of the next chapters. It made me feel better. But I wasn’t looking to feel better. I was looking for a stable, persistent inner peace.
I decided to make a list of all the inner powers I have to create and maintain my inner peace. The idea was that if I have a list like this and I use it, then inner peace is guaranteed to stay with me.
A few years later, after working with my inner powers list, I’ve just finished another phone call with my mom. No, she didn’t hang up on me this time. I actually can’t remember when we last had a fight. She just got back good results from a medical test she took, and I was the first person she called, very excited to share the good news with me. We’re now best friends, and the only tears I cause her, are tears of happiness when I come to visit.
Creating peace with my mom is one of my biggest achievements on my path of spiritual growth. It’s funny how hard it is to have peace with the ones we love. Maybe it’s because we care about them so much. It felt like making a peace with myself, with my inner angry giant monster who terrorized my life.
I sometimes see people in the middle of a fight with a loved one and it reminds me how out of control I felt before I started to work with my inner power resources.
This personal peace list is one of the most powerful gifts in my life and I want to share it with you.
The first power is coming soon! Follow the blog get a notification. Don’t miss it!
This week author of the week is Collette Scott author of If We Dare to Dream: The Evans Family, Book One.
Please also make sure to visit previous authors of the week if you didn’t do that yet.
– KC Stone, author of Replaced by a Stranger.
“Wow! I have to say after reading Forever Sunshine I didn’t think I would read a book as well written as that again. Collette has done it again!… Collette writes so well that you can visualise what is happening in your head, as though seeing the action on TV or in a film, but better! I feel so privileged at being allowed to read this book before it has even officially been published.”
Meet the Evans family:
A family torn apart by war and misfortune meets a family held together by the bonds of love.
Two families entwine after one fateful night changes their lives forever. Andrew Sheehan, former elite soldier, returns home from war and is suddenly accused of murder. Only Jamie Evans can prove his innocence.
What would you do?
A single meeting, the memory of one night, holds the key to a murder. If Jamie is correct, she gives a hero back his life. If she is wrong, she risks freeing a murderer from prison. Trusting her instincts, Jamie puts her life on hold and strives to free Andrew despite her family’s misgivings. Determined to do what is right, she vows to help him get his life back on track.
Andrew, feeling betrayed by the country he nearly died protecting, fights the demons he carries in an effort to make things work with Jamie and repair the fractured relationship with his brother Adam, who bears his own battle scars.
Dare he dream?
With Jamie and her family’s help, Andrew begins to pick up the pieces of his shattered life. Realizing that there is more to life than bitterness and resentment, he starts over again determined to make the best of his experiences. But the killer is still out there, and Andrew soon finds that he is haunting him still.
About the Author
Always composing stories in her head, Collette began her first novel at the age of eight. Since then, she has obtained her bachelor’s degree in English literature and master’s degree in education while squeezing in her writing whenever she can. If We Dare to Dream is Collette’s third novel and the beginning of the highly anticipated Evans family series. The New England native now resides in Arizona with her husband, three children and multiple family pets.
I asked Collette a few questions:
Q: If you could choose one super power, what would it be and why?
A: How strange that you ask this. I had an incident just this past week that truly unsettled me, and having read this I feel I wouldn’t really want any superpowers at all. You see, I wrote If We Dare to Dream back in April of 2011 and set the story to end in November 2011. I predicted a winter storm to arrive following Halloween. Strangely enough, the weekend of November 4th, the Phoenix area did have a winter storm (which is not common, by the way). Just under three weeks later, a small plane crashed into the spot on Superstition Mountain where I placed my characters during the climax of the story. That tragedy shook me this Thanksgiving; it was a horror that was so unexpected, and the loss of life devastating. I decided then that if it was some sort of precognition, I would never write suspense again!
That being said, if there was a superpower that granted me the ability to heal people I would choose that. Even in my writing, I try to persuade people that all is not lost following tough times or tragedy. We do go on; we are survivors. There is always a tomorrow, and we should be thankful that we are given that!
Q: How would you convince someone to read your book in 140 characters or less?
A: With realistic characters & thematic stories much like Nicholas Sparks, you’ll get a blend of romance and emotional growth not to be missed.
Q: What was your happiest moment as an author?
A: Holding my first proof in my hands! While I love writing so very much, there was something so beautiful and special when I first saw it in book form I cried.
Q: What can you tell me about your ideal reader?
A: My ideal reader is anyone from teen years to retiree who loves to read realistic fiction with very human characters who face their difficulties and go on to find love and happiness.
Q: When did you know you are going to be an author?
A: I was born one. I’ve been storytelling and writing for as long as I can remember and finished my first novel at the age of eight.
Q: If you could talk to your readers while they are reading your book, what would you tell them?
A: My characters are as human as you are. Take a look around you and you may see one of them! J
Q: Which author influenced you the most?
A: I can’t really say any single author has influenced me the most. I studied literature in college, and my favorites were the Victorian gothic writers such as the Bronte sisters.
Q: Tell me one unique thing about yourself that no other author in the world (as far as you know) shares.
A: Well I couldn’t say for certain that I’m the only author that does this, but my characters are so real to me that long after I have told their tales and we have stopped speaking to one another I still look for them when driving down the street.
Q: What’s next?
A: I have been working on the Evans Family series nonstop since April. I have recently started book five, so I plan to finish the series up before moving on to my next project. I have had such fun working with this family, but I know the end is coming soon J. Book two will be out tentatively set for Valentine’s Day 2012.
For more information visit: http://www.collettescott.com
Collette’s blog: http://collettescott.blogspot.com
Facebook page: ColletteScott
This week author of the week is Linda Hawley author of The Prophecies book series.
And this week we are going to have a 5 eBooks giveaway!!
Linda decided to give you 5 eBook copies of her book 1 in the series (Dreams Unleashed) for free!
All you have to do is to visit The Prophecies Series Facebook Fan Page, click the “like” button, then come back to my blog and leave a comment that you did it. 5 of you will get a free ebook!
I’m almost done reading the first book in the series, Dreams Unleashed, and I can’t wait to read the other 2 books in the series. The way this author combines past, present future and dreams pulls you into the story. You will not be able to put down this multilayer thriller. Sometimes because you must know what is going to happen next. And sometimes because you must know what happened before. Every time I thought the author can’t surprise me anymore, something new happened, adding to my joy of reading. I highly recommend reading it, and you have a chance to win a free ecopy.
Linda Hawley was kind enough to answer a few questions:
Q: Your book series takes on a future world in 2015 where the government controls the people. Why write this dystopian topic?
A: Look around at the unrest here in America, and around the world. Things are falling apart. Worldwide, we can’t trust politicians, lawmakers, and others in power. I simply wrote about things that I see happening right now, and what they will become in 2015, if we don’t change our path.
Q: As a follow up to this last question, tell us about the tracking technology in the series. Is it real?
A: Yes. All the technology I’ve written about in book one is real. I’m a very good researcher, and I dug in to write accurately about the technology that’s tracking humans in 2015. Almost everything in the series is real, except the characters, and their actions. I wanted to ground the series, so that my readers would learn about what’s really going on in the world, as they read this fictional story.
Q: There is a lot of drama and discord between citizens around the world and the governments in The Prophecies series. Do you believe in conspiracy theories?
A: No. But here is what I am…I’m a news junkie. I read from five news sources every day–and not all of them are based in the USA. I get a global perspective, and then write in my stories about what I learn. There are many *buried* truths that not a lot of people know about. I am proud of the fact that if you read The Prophecies, you’ll learn about how we got in the shape we’re in as a people.
Q: There is drama in your series, but in the book reviews, your characterizations stand strong. Tell us about writing & developing the characters of the protaganist of The Prophecies.
A: Honestly, I think my gift as a writer is in my characterizations, not my plot and subplots. My characters are so well known to me that I feel they are living in my house with me. The heroine, Ann Torgeson, is who I created first, and by the time I had fully developed her, she came alive and I knew I was writing more than one book. As I wrote Dreams Unleashed (book one in the series), I was about one third of the way through the manuscript when I realized that something just wasn’t quite right. I then went back and changed the entire manuscript to first-person. When I did that, the story came alive, and I knew I had things moving in the right direction. Some book reviewers have said that they generally dislike books written in the first person, but in this series, it really works. That made me happy.
Q: Who’s the reader of The Prophecies?
A: Age 40+, people who think about things, ponderers, news-watchers, adventurers. Although I will say that there are many young people who are really enjoying the series–even teens.
Q: Tell us one message about The Prophecies series.
A: It’s about hope. If you need a little hope in your life, read it.
The Prophecies book series synopsis:
It’s the near future, and society is government-controlled. Technology tracks everyone, and personal privacy does not exist. The hope for freedom lies in the operations of an underground organization, GOG, which fights against worldwide oppression. Their most powerful weapon is Ann Torgeson, a paranormally-gifted operative. It’s her powers that release the seal of The Prophecies, changing the world forever.
The Prophecies Book Trailer: http://bit.ly/sUEkxM
Author’s Website: http://www.lindahawley.com/
Author’s Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/ThePropheciesSeries
Author’s Twitter Page: http://twitter.com/LindaHawley/